Why did you get married?
In this week's Gospel, Jesus says, "For this purpose have I come." What is your purpose? What was your purpose in getting married?
Psychologists define purpose as the “aspirations that motivate our activities” (Ivtzan, Lomas, Hefferon, & Worth, 2016). As a sacrament of vocation, marriage is a call to such a purpose. It is a call to make loving another an aspiration that motivates us and guides our actions.
Psychologists have recently begun to recognize having purpose as crucially important to our wellbeing and happiness. Studies show that people with who live lives of purpose and meaning are happier, exhibit greater life satisfaction, and report less depression (Steger, 2009; Ivtzan et al., 2016; Huo et al., 2019 ). People with a strong sense of purpose are also less likely to experience fear of death (Routledge & Juhl, 2010).
Do you understand your purpose as a spouse? It is to make you a more generous, mature and loving person. It is to make you the best version of yourself by creating a relationship in which you give yourself away as fully as possible to another.
Are you more concerned with giving love than with getting it? Then you are not living up to your purpose.
Are you more committed to your personal independence than in fully belonging to your partner? If so, you are not living up to your purpose.
Are you a light in the darkness? Do you bear witness to God's love via your love? If so, you are living up to your purpose.
Bishop Fulton Sheen once articulated the difference between those with purpose and those without. Those without purpose wake up and say, "Good God, morning." They struggle to arise and start their day.
Those with purpose say, "Good morning, God!" They embrace another opportunity to live out their purpose.
Each morning is an opportunity to arise and begin our day, motivated by the purpose of loving our spouse again today.
Photo by Blue Bird
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