How do I know you love me? Is it the words you say or the things you do?
In this week’s Sunday Gospel Jesus describes a young man who agrees to do what he is asked, but fails to follow through. He talks the talk, but fails to walk the walk.
Few things make us angrier or more frustrated than hypocrisy. When we promise one thing but do another, when we tell our partner we will take care of them but let them down, and when we ask them to change a behavior that hurts our feelings but then engage in that same behavior ourselves, we wound our relationships.
In the parable, Jesus emphasizes that he would rather we do the right thing unwillingly than make a pretense of caring and fail to follow through.
We all love to be told we are loved but in the end, it’s the actions that count. It is surprise birthday parties, unexpected gifts, and special date nights. But it’s also driving your spouse to the airport in the middle of the night to catch a late-night flight. It’s cleaning up after them when they’ve been sick. Its planning dates, making grocery lists, and taking the car in for maintenance.
It’s doing the right thing to care for your spouse, and the relationship even—maybe especially--when you don’t really want to.
[Photo by Alex Green]
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