If marriage is more than just a contract, more than just two people meeting one another’s needs, what is it?
It’s a collaboration in love.
In Christian teaching, the great story of God's relationship with humanity is one of collaboration. God never imposes things on us; he invites us to collaborate, to cooperate, to participate. God doesn't want to have a monologue with us; he wants to have a dialogue with us. In the same way, Christian marriage is intended to be a dynamic relationship in which the spouses collaborate with one another, and with God, to create moments of genuine intimacy.
So how do we get there?
Purgatory is getting rid of the things that make marriage a hell. But a great marriage does not come about just by getting rid of bad habits—it requires the building of new, good habits.
In Dante’s Paradise, the poet and his guide reach the top of Purgatory and, freed of the burden of their sins, they are weightless, and can fly to Heaven. But the travelers soon learn that moving forward through Heaven -- which is to say, deeper and deeper into the presence of love itself -- requires more than just abandoning one’s vices.
It requires the building of virtues.
This section is about the Seven Cardinal Virtues and their place in your marriage. The term “cardinal” comes from a Latin word for “hinge,” which the ancients found appropriate because everything good in your life hinges on these virtues. Originally identified by Classical philosophers, then revised and incorporated into Christian theology.
This is the first several paragraphs of the chapter "Highway to Heaven" from our book. This chapter introduces the seven cardinal virtues and their place in your marriage and describes three crucial tools for a strong marriage: 1) Finding Role Models, 2) Reflective Listening, and 3) Building Habits.
Photo by Dawna Peterson.
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