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How do you love your spouse when they aren't present? It's a question that Jesus raises with his disciples before his ascension. There is a moment in this Sunday's Gospel where Jesus, facing his own death, turns his attention not inward but outward, toward the people he loves. "I pray for them," he says. Jesus intercedes. Jesus holds those who love him in mind before the Father. And when he leaves, he tells them he will send the Holy Spirit to be their advocate. John's Gospel

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." (John 14:15) We all have physical and emotional needs we want our spouse to meet. One of Dawna's emotional needs is to be heard. The third child of four, she grew up the unheard daughter, the third child no one listened to. In our marriage, she doesn't want Mark to try to solve her problem, she doesn't want him to tell her that everything is okay, and she definitely does not want him to defend or excuse himself if his actions a

Mark was trying to be more romantic. When Dawna came home from the office she was drained by an afternoon of client sessions, the kids were at friends, Mark was cooking dinner, and he greeted her with, "Honey, I drew you a bubble bath, now go get in before it gets cold. You can soak while I finish dinner." Dawna was tired. She was hungry. She was irritable. And she hated soaking in water. Mark and the kids were swimmers and soakers. She was not, and after decades of marriage